The 1980s gave us plenty of unforgettable hits, but let’s be real—some songs are so quirky, so overplayed, or just so bizarre that we wouldn’t mind if they faded into oblivion. No offense to the artists (okay, maybe a little), but these tracks have had their moment. Here are three one-hit wonders from the ’80s we’d be totally fine never hearing again.
“The Future’s So Bright, I Gotta Wear Shades” – Timbuk 3 (1986)
This song isn’t exactly bad, but it’s like a soggy napkin—kinda there, but not doing much for anyone. It’s a weird blend of rock, blues, and that unmistakable ’80s awkwardness. Imagine someone trying to write a Bob Dylan song, and then making a copy of that copy… three more times. That’s what this track feels like. Sure, it climbed to No. 19 on the Billboard Hot 100, and the music video has racked up millions of views, but let’s be honest—this one belongs in a time capsule, never to be opened.
“We Don’t Have to Take Our Clothes Off” – Jermaine Stewart (1986)
This song had potential, but something about it just doesn’t click. It tries to be funky, fun, and meaningful all at once, but instead, it’s like a plane that never quite takes off. The beat is grating, the delivery feels off, and the message—while noble—gets lost in the overly polished, cheesy production. Despite all that, it still managed to land at No. 5 on the Billboard Hot 100. But let’s face it, if this one comes on, we’re skipping it.
“The Safety Dance” – Men Without Hats (1982)
What even is this song? What do hats have to do with a band name? And what exactly makes this dance so safe? It’s like someone fed random phrases into a computer decades before AI was a thing. Yes, it’s catchy—too catchy. The kind of catchy that drills into your brain and refuses to leave. It reached No. 3 on the Billboard Hot 100, proving that even the weirdest songs can be hits. But at this point, it’s best left in a neon-lit, VHS-filtered memory of the ‘80s.
Some songs stand the test of time. These? Not so much.